It Hurts...

Like I said, it hurts... I must seem really desperate to people reading these posts, heh.
Nowadays, my heart hurts all the time, loneliness is slowly taking over.
I'm becoming spiteful and sarcastic towards my friends.
Jealousy is blurring my mind, I can't think straight...
For the first time in years, I put my hand on my computer screen to "feel" the girl in my wallpaper.
Rest assured, it's not in the erotic way, and the girl is an animated character.
Every breath hurts when I'm alone like this, I don't know what to do.
I've always prided myself with my mind and it's ability to think of solutions for most situations. But not this time, this time, I'm stumped...
A blog like this, no one reads it, nobody will give advice. Yet, I keep on writing, just for the sake of it...
My mind is at peace when I write, my emotions flowing out of my pen (in this case fingertips) and painting a picture of how i feel.
I realize, I'm getting distant from my friends, I'm losing sight of who I was.
I have no idea why I'm so desperate to find a partner, I can't think of anything.
Someone starts a conversation with me, but I'm not in the mood to talk. I've never learned to express myself directly...
I want to tell them how I feel, but...
I know what's wrong with me, but at the same time, I have no idea what is wrong.
Ironic eih?
Oh well... Leon, out